I'm all sorts of proud of myself right now. It's not like I did anything spectacular or anything, but still....
I bought new bras tonight.
I know, I know. Big deal, right? Well, to me it kind of is a big deal.
I'm not the type of person to go out and spend money on myself. We've been so broke for so long that there has always been something more important that needed funding rather than my pathetic wardrobe. The kids needed shoes, or we needed groceries, or that pesky electric bill had to be paid, or whatever. So I've worn the same old ratty nasty ugly bras for probably 10 years now - literally. In fact, right now, I am currently wearing a maternity bra that I bought after I had Emily - and she will be 11 next month.
A few weeks ago I told myself that I was going to go out and buy some new ones - you know, before we go on vacation. But then, I kept putting it off again. One...because I hate to spend money on myself, and two...because I hate to shop. I mean, I really hate to shop.
But today was one of those days where I was just so restless. I did my usual cleaning and laundry (and washed and dried and folded those same ugly bras one more time) but I really just wanted to get out of the house. So, as kind of a spur of the moment thing, I grabbed the boys and took off and went shopping. It was an experience - since I refuse to shop at WalHell, I had to drive 30 miles to get to a Target (not that Target is that much better, but at least it isn't WalHell) and in the process had to dodge about 87 construction zones and 423 idiot drivers.
The shopping part wasn't too horrible, other than the boys making smart comments about being in the "booby holder" section of the store (where do they pick this stuff up???) and occasionally smacking each other upside the head. Of course, being the eternal cheapskate I had to scope out the clearance racks first (fail) before I went to the regular ones. But, I still found some inexpensive ones that were decent - and then it dawned on me: I'd have to try them on to make sure that they fit.
I thought about just chancing it and not testing them first, but I knew if I did that I would end up with ones that didn't fit, and I'd have to continue wearing the same old ratty nasty ugly ones again. And since I've lost weight, I wasn't exactly sure what size to get. So I gritted my teeth and braved the fitting room with two slightly-obnoxious little boys.
Long story short, I walked out of the store with 6 brand new bras - for a whopping $36. (Told you, I'm a cheapskate.) But before we left we wandered around the store for a while and I picked up a couple of other odds and ends that we needed, including a new pair of flip-flops for Daniel to wear on vacation.
It's kind of funny that something this trivial seems like a semi-big deal to me, but seriously, I don't buy things for myself. And I think that's a trap that a lot of parents (and especially single parents) fall into - we get so caught up in making sure that the kids have everything that they need (and/or want), and we forget about ourselves. We forget that we have needs too - and sometimes those needs are just as important as the kids' needs. We forget that we have to take care of ourselves - and realistically, if we don't do it, who is?
I did make a promise to myself tonight - no matter how tight money is in the future, I will not wait another 10 years to buy new bras.